Pop quiz!
Do you know your organization’s salary budgeting process and timeline?
I didn’t for the longest time, and I didn’t even know I should ask about this.
For years I was thankful of the raises I received – whether single or double digits. One year I even got no raise at all, but the news was delivered to me so eloquently that I left the meeting feeling good about my accomplishments and my potential for a raise the following year.
It wasn’t until I got home that night and tried to reiterate the logic behind the 0% raise to my husband that I realized the disparity between words and actions.
What should I have done differently?
Of course, there was nothing to do at that point except express my disappointment to my manager the next day and let him know that I expected this would be the last year to get no raise based on my performance. I also vowed to make sure this would not happen again, so I asked Kevin, a friend and colleague (and future manager and business partner), for a few pointers.
He told me he started conversations with his manager a few months ahead of when raises were due to be submitted. He would tell his manager how hard he had been working, the deals he closed, and tout other accomplishments and results. He would close the conversation with, “I know that there is a limited bucket for promotions, so based on my contributions I expect to get the largest percent raise on the team.”
This was like learning a foreign language to me. It never occurred to me this would be a reasonable conversation, and it made me uncomfortable even thinking about saying words to this effect to someone higher up in the organization.
I was always well prepared for my annual reviews; I kept files of my accomplishments and results, along with customer (external and internal) thank you notes and was organized for these discussions. But what I never knew – until that discussion – was that the game had already been played and I never even showed up until months after it was over.
Kevin coached me on how he manages his salary increase discussions was shocked that I accepted the salary that was offered when I took a new position. He asked me why I didn’t negotiate for more money. I explained I was grateful for the offer, based on my research I felt I was given a fair offer, and that I appreciated the amount I would be paid.
His reply to me was “If you work for me and you don’t negotiate, I’ll see you as weak.”
Another lesson for me. I was operating under the premise that by negotiating I would be seen as disrespectful or not appreciative. I was fearful I would be labeled as greedy. And there was a lingering thought in the back of my head that they might even rescind an offer if they thought I was not grateful.
Yet here he was telling me that in his rulebook, he expected to enter into a negotiation. I don’t know what percentage of people are like him in that they will respect you more if you negotiate, but this is another reminder to find your voice.
Women need to learn to negotiate
It is a small consolation to know that I was not alone in not asking for more salary or for a larger raise. A quick internet search will yield multiple studies that show that men are more likely to ask for a raise and negotiate a salary, and that when they do they ask for more money than women:
Glassdoor surveyed 2000+ men and women and confirmed that women negotiate less than men: “68% of women accepted the salary they were offered and did not negotiate, a 16-percentage point difference when compared to men (52%).”
Condé Nast’s Glamour also surveyed 2,000 men and women with similar findings. “Just 39% of women said they asked for a higher salary when starting a new job. That compared with 54% of men. Of those in existing jobs, 43% of women said they had ever asked for a raise, compared again with 54% of men.”
Linda Babcock, a professor of economics at Carnegie Mellon University and the author of Women Don’t Ask, has found, in studies of business-school students, that men initiate salary negotiations four times as often as women do, and that when women do negotiate, they ask for 30% less money than men do.
There are hundreds of suggestions on how to ask for raises, from asking for specific percentages or dollar amounts to how to phrase the discussion in softer terms. The goal is for you to find a method that works for your own style whether you are comfortable in a more direct conversation or less. Just be sure you are having the conversation vs. opting out.
I made it a habit to share my results (not activities) and complimentary emails with my manager on a regular basis, not just during my performance review meeting. I also regularly asked if there was anything else they expected from me in order for them to put me in for the highest raise possible.
Practice makes perfect
I also practiced phrases out loud around asking for increases or salaries so that when the actual discussions occurred, the conversations would feel more natural and comfortable to me.
Some examples I’ve coached people to use include:
“I have delivered above and beyond my job responsibilities as evidenced by x, y, and z. I would like to discuss what else you need in order to secure the highest possible raise this year.”
“I would like to know if you can go up to [$x].”
“I owe it to myself to secure as high a salary as I can. When I look at Glassdoor, the salary range for this job is x. I would like to discuss what you would need in order to put me in for a higher salary.”
Another good reminder to ask for a raise, and for a specific amount comes from The Confidence Code, where the authors cite studies by Linda Babcock from Carnegie Mellon: “Men initiate salary negotiations four times as often as women, and that when women do negotiate, they ask for 30% less than men do.”
One situation where negotiation is always expected is when applying for a job in sales. If you’re going after a sales role, you better be ready to demonstrate your comfort and ability to negotiate as well as to close by asking for the job at the end of the interview.
I’ve interviewed hundreds of people for all types of roles, and have heard hundreds of closes. The ones that turn me off come across as cheesy and arrogant: “Is there anything I said that would make you question my skills? If not, I expect you to give me an offer.”
I personally prefer hearing a close that doesn’t force me into a corner. I’m looking for someone to demonstrate enthusiasm for the job (“I hope I’ve convinced you that I’m excited about this position.”), show me they understand the job (“I know you need someone who can sell cloud solutions right away”), and a more conversational close (“I am confident I can make a huge contribution to your team and can be ready to start in two weeks. What are the next steps?”).
Again, practice to find your own natural style, but make sure you display the skills which are critical to the job you’re interviewing for.
What else can you negotiate?
Since it is not always about the money (or only about money), you also should be prepared to negotiate other elements of your job: a special project, working from home one day a week, or something else that is important to you. Ideally you are able to show the connection between what you are asking for and benefits to the company.
Just as with the salary discussion, go into these conversations prepared with objective information and data, how this will positively impact the company, and thoughtful rationale. Anticipate questions and practice ahead of time so you are comfortable when you are having these discussions face to face.
Remember if you don’t ask, you won’t get it, whatever “it” is. Worst case is you’ll be told no. I don’t know anyone who was fired for asking. Best case, you’ll get what you want. A likely outcome is you’ll meet somewhere in the middle.